Pregnancy Series Part 3: Finding a Doctor

This is one of the most important things to do. Seriously! While many pregnancies and deliveries go well with no complications, many do not. When making the decision of which doctor to go to, remember that you are literally putting your life and your baby's life in the hands of your doctor (or midwife).

The easiest way to find a good doctor is to get recommendations from people you trust. If you are planning on waiting to announce the pregnancy until after you've seen a doctor, it can be awkward to ask for recommendations from friends because they get suspicious. Hopefully if they are good friends they will give you their recommendation and not ask any questions.

When you ask, don't just ask who is good, ask WHY they like their doctor. Even if you are best friends, you will probably like different things in a doctor. Some like to get in and get out, while others like a doctor to take their time, go over everything, give them a lot of reading materials, etc. My sister-in-law LOVES her doctor, and when she recommended him to a friend, her friend said, "I heard he was terrible!" So they got to discussing why some thought he was "terrible" and it was simply because he didn't allow doulas or legally binding birth plans (the kind that limits what a doctor can do in an emergency). My sister-in-law didn't want a doula or birth plan and he was an excellent doctor for her. But obviously, anyone wishing to have a doula or birth plan wouldn't like him. He wasn't a bad doctor, he just had different goals for delivery than some women. That's why it's important to ask WHY. (Remember when giving a review that it's best not to label as "good" or "bad" but just to explain what they did you liked and didn't like, including why you did or didn't. Sometimes you just don't click with a doctor but don't drive away potential patients).

My friend LOVED her doctor. And I mean she LOVED her!! She'd talk about her all the time. Due do scheduling conflicts she wasn't able to see her doctor for her 6 week check up  after the baby was born and she was so sad because it meant she wasn't going to be able to see her until her next pregnancy. Sounds like a glowing review, right?

So I went to her. She was a good doctor. She was nice. But I didn't love her quite like my friend did. I felt a little awkward asking her questions, though she never treated me poorly when I asked them. There was nothing wrong with her and I kept going to her. But then we moved for the summer and I started going to the OB/GYN I'd gone to for my premarital and 1 year check up (PAP smears and all the fun stuff that entails). I LOVED him! I felt so comfortable and at ease with him. I love the way he treated me, I felt like he truly cared about me and my baby. The way he talked, the way he dressed, the way he held himself... I can't say enough good things about him!

I can't pin point what exactly about these 2 doctors was so different. Part of it might have been the fact that one was male, one was female. I have only been to one female doctor in my life. (She was a dermotoligist who removed a mole off my back 5 years ago and the scar is still worse than my C-section scar from 7 months ago.) My pediatrician was male, my first OB/GYN was male... for some reason I feel more comfortable with male doctors. My friend on the other hand was rather uncomfortable when she delivered and the on call doctor was a male, not her female doctor. I didn't know she felt uncomfortable with men otherwise I would have taken her recommendation with a few grains of salt. (Can I change the expression like that?)

Most of what makes someone think they have a "good" doctor is personal preference. We all feel more comfortable around different types of people so it should make sense that we might prefer a different doctor.

Another note about listening to friend's suggestions: I had one friend who told me that a certain doctor did something during a friend's delivery that she wasn't supposed to. Well upon my own research, it really is ok for the doctor to do what she did, there are absolutely no complications with it (unless you're a cow. Like the animal. It's great being a vet school wife!) Remember that some procedures get emotionalized in the media and are put in a bad light when really it's not a problem. Check your sources. Ask a few doctors or nurses. Be careful with the internet though, anyone can put up anything and make it sound legitimate.

Another thing to do is call the hospitals and ask if they have a way to meet their doctors to make a better informed decision. Some may let you have a consultation but some may not. If you live in Utah, there is this AWESOME group called Intermountain Moms. The have a Facebook page (here) and YouTube channel (here). It's great because you can ask for recommendations, take virtual tours of hospitals and facilities, and even listen to some doctors talk about what they do what they do.

This is the OB/GYN who delivered my baby(click here). They have videos for lots of OB/GYNs and pediatricians. Take a minute to explore a few videos and explore their youtube channel. The have videos of nurses who answer commonly asked questions, it's great because I can search for a question and I don't have to call the doctor every time.

If you are not in Utah, call a few hospitals and ask if they have a Facebook page, YouTube channel, or Blog. Most of them will. They are great resources that are not used enough.

Things to keep in mind when choosing a doctor:

• Your health
• If you have some health problems, there are doctors that specialize in risky pregnancies. Find a doctor that is qualified and experienced in treating women with your health problems
• Doctor's Outlook
• You want to have the same opinion as your doctor on things like an episiotomy, medication, and emergency procedures. 
• Compatibility
• Like I mentioned before, do you get along and feel comfortable with the doctor?
• Man or Woman
• Some people have a preference and that is ok!
• Hospital Preference
• You might find a doctor that you love but not the hospital or vice versa
• Convenience
• How far do you have to go to see the doctor? How far away is the hospital?

Now I don't have a midwife, and the reasons my friends have explained to me for choosing to go with a midwife are all precisely the reasons I didn't have a midwife. Neither is wrong, it's up to you. It's your body, your baby, your pregnancy. Make sure you are happy, comfortable, and trust whoever is caring for you.

If you go to a doctor and you don't LOVE them, you can switch. Give it at least 2 or 3 appointments though, you never know what their day has been like. I can't stress enough, it is OK to switch. No one's feelings will be hurt, they want to make sure you're comfortable and taken care of. GOOD LUCK!

Any questions or other recommendations about choosing a doctor?