There are a lot of myths (or really Old Wives Tales) out there about getting pregnant and increasing your odds of getting pregnant. Most of those simply aren't true and I'll cover those as I go through how to get pregnant.
First off, you have to stop using contraception. Whether you are using a pill, an IUD, or condom, stop using it.
A note about condoms and STIs:
Condoms can protect against sexually transmitted diseases so if either you or your partner have one, talk to your doctor about treatment. Some STIs can be transferred to the fetus so be sure to get treatment and talk to your doctor about what you can do to get pregnant safely. If you or your partner have ever been intimate with someone other than your spouse, it's a good idea to both get tested- it can take years for an infection to show itself.
If you have an IUD, you have to have that removed by a professional. When stopping hormonal birth control you simply have to stop taking the pill. Technically, as soon as you stop taking the pill the hormones are no longer in your system and *technically* you should be able to get pregnant immediately.
A note about hormonal birth control:
It is advised to wait a month or two before actually trying to get pregnant after the pill. This (according to the nurse I talked to at my doctor's office) is because one of the effects of the pill is that it thins the women's uterine wall. That makes it a lot more difficult for a fertilized egg to implant. You likely won't even know the egg was fertilized so do not stress about that. Unless implantation occurs your body will not give the pregnant hormones. *If you do get pregnant right after stopping the pill, do not worry, you are not at a higher risk for miscarriage. If the egg implants then you are pregnant and not at any higher risk for miscarriage. If you do miscarry after the first missed period, it is not because of the pill. Women report that it takes longer to get pregnant after taking the pill than not at all but these are hard statistics to rely on because there are so many factors that go into getting pregnant.
You can stop taking the pill at any point, you don't have to finish the pack. But be aware that it can result in some bleeding. You will know you are ovulating when your period returns to a normal cycle. If you have been off the pill 3-6 months and you haven't started your period yet, call your doctor. This doesn't mean there is something wrong, but there might be so it's better to get it checked out sooner rather than later.
The mini pill (commonly used while breastfeeding) is such a low dose of hormones that you are considered fertile the day after you stop taking it. This is why it is so important to take it at the same time every day while using it to prevent pregnancy.
The shot takes at least 13 weeks to gain fertility. It is not unusual for women to take up to 2 years after this method to get pregnant.
Next, you need to be intimate. A lot. Seriously. The odds of getting pregnant are actually very low, even if it seems that everyone around you is getting pregnant. It truly is a miracle that anyone gets pregnant at all so increase your odds by doing the act as often as you can during your fertile period. With this society's high stress, general lack of nutrition, and traveling spouses, it's even harder to get pregnant. (Click here for the post on pre-pregnancy nutrition) It can take over a year to get pregnant. If you've been trying at least a year with no pregnancy then it is time to talk to your doctors (could be the male or female) about fertility issues.
I had someone ask me if intimacy changes when you decide you want to get pregnant. In my experience, and a poll of one other person, it definitely can. It can be stressful and cause anxiety and that's ok. Just remember that making the baby is the fun part :) You don't need to worry about time of day, place, or position. While some people swear by these specifics, it hasn't been proven to make any difference at all. Do what you and your spouse like and are comfortable with, especially if anxiety is running high.
The most important bit of info about getting pregnant is timing it within your cycle. In order to get pregnant there has to be sperm present while there is a fertile egg available. The "average" women's cycle is 28 days and she will ovulate on day 14. If the egg is not fertilized with about 24 hours then it dies. If no implantation occurs within 2 weeks (it won't if there is no fertilized egg) then there is a change of hormones which causes the uterine lining to shed. This is the period, it starts on day 1. For more info on the hormones involved and a more scientific explanation of the whole process, go here.
Sperm can live up to 5 days in a women's body depending on the conditions. The goal is to have as many sperm alive and in the body when ovulating to increase your chance of once making it through the rough journey and then penetrating the egg which is protected by a thick layer. To give yourself the best chance, start trying a week before your estimated ovulation and keep going up to 2 days after (since you don't know exactly when ovulation occurs). In my class I was taught that doing it every other day gives enough time for the man's sperm count to recuperate but I've read a lot of other articles that say once a day will provide enough sperm.
To know when you ovulate you can download an app to track your cycle, visit a website, or buy an ovulation kit. The apps and trackers give estimations, not exact days so they aren't as reliable. The ovulation kit will let you know exactly when you are ovulating based on hormones. You can also track your cycle by taking your body temperature. It changes when you ovulate but you have to take it every day at the same time so you know what has actually changed. This website explains how to do that. All it costs is the price of a thermometer.
Remember that it takes a long time and no time at all to get pregnant. So don't start trying before you're actually ready to bring a human into this world with the thought that it will take a few months. But also, don't go into it thinking it will only take a few times because it can take a while.
Next, you wait two weeks until you are supposed to start your period and take a test. Take the test first thing in the morning when your urine is more concentrated. The tests measure a certain amount of hormone that's only present in those high levels during pregnancy. You want it to be concentrated because those levels are still rising at that point in time. There are some early detection tests you can use as well if you are impatient. However, it can be hard emotionally to know you were pregnant and then start that first period. Half of all pregnancies end in miscarriage and a lot of them are early, meaning the pregnancy ends before you even knew you were pregnant, before your first missed period. Just understand that if you do decide to get an early detection test. You can get an accurate test at the dollar store for $1. Other than the early detection tests I don't know what the difference is in the tests or why they vary so much in cost. Know that the more money you spend doesn't necessary mean more accurate and it definitely doesn't increase your chance of being pregnant. You can get a false negative and you can spot while pregnant. If your period is lighter than usual you might want to take a test and see. Or if you get a negative test and still haven't started, wait a week and test again.
If you are pregnant call your doctor to set up an appointment. Most doctors want to see you between 10-13 weeks.
I want to briefly discuss choosing the sex of your baby. As far as the studies I've looked at go, gender is still by chance. You can try to help your odds, but know that no method will be 100% accurate. Some people swear by the methods while others say it didn't work at all. Just remember it's a 50/50 chance for a boy or girl.(My husband just informed me it is ever so slightly more likely to be a girl). Trying the techniques won't hurt (with the exception of the one that uses a douching technique. It's been found that douching can cause infection), just remember 50-50.
Good luck and may the odds be ever in your favor. Sorry, couldn't help it!
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